I didn’t see the rainbow…
I had a cold. The littlest one had a cold. Sleep had been limited. But work still had to be done and the to-do list kept growing.
Leaned over scrubbing the shower with one hand and a tissue in the other hand for my nose, my husband walks in the bathroom with a rock in his hand.
“Do you know what this is? I found it by the mailbox” he said.
Sarcastically I replied, “A rock.”
But I knew exactly what it was. It was a gift of a painted rock from the anonymous Rock Fairy in our neighborhood. He was clueless as I mumbled something about the Rock Fairy and I told him just to put it on the kitchen counter. Then I mentally filed the gratitude post I would now have to make on our neighborhood community page on my to-do list.
Another thing that needs to be done, I grumbled.
The sickness, my workload, the demands of a household with small kids, the appointments, and school fundraisers all ganged up to dismantle my sanity. I couldn’t see more than two inches in front of my current circumstances. And in that moment, I let the stresses mute the colors in my vision.
Resting in my bed for a minute I heard my older son call out, “What’s this?” He had spied the painted rock on the kitchen counter.
“Oh, can I have it?” he asked.
“Of course, it’s yours.” I replied.
Running from the kitchen, he jumped on my bed with the rock in hand. He cupped the polished beauty in both hands and immediately noticed the colors of the rainbow on the dragonfly. “Look Mom, it’s every color of the rainbow!” Amazed by the sparkly paint, he counted the seven brilliant colored dots.
Immediately, I felt remorse. I didn’t stop to think about the person who took the time to paint and drop the rock off in our yard. I didn’t appreciate the thought of someone thinking of us as they prepared the gift.
I saw the gift as an obligation. He saw the gift as a blessing. He saw it as a little ray of sunshine, while I missed the rainbow.
My child-like faith was waning and needed some intentional improvement. We all have these bad days and things that throw us for a loop. But sometimes we are so quick to justify that this view is okay given the circumstances. We pass off pessimism as a personality trait, when really it’s a choice. Our quick tempers are simply due to hormones. We are just stressed and tomorrow will be better.
Of course, we are allowed bad days. There are bad weeks and years and we have to fight to see past our circumstances. I easily give up this fight too many times. As someone who struggled with depression, I know all too well that is can start with subtle things.
And these subtle, little things can blind us to the beauty that God builds into the things around us – the vivid colors that he bestows in our lives.
So, I chose to see the rainbow. I touched each dot as my son called out the colors. The seven perfectly complete colors of a promise made by our amazing Father. I took a picture of his smiling face and posted a note of gratitude.
As I went to sleep I prayed for a trained eye, an earnest ear, and a pure heart to see, hear, and feel God in this evil world.
Because I don’t want to miss out on any more rainbows. And I certainly don’t want to miss His promises.