How to Let Go of Anger and Find Peace When You Lose Your Temper

Scripture

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”—Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)

Are you slow to anger, or do unwanted circumstances cause you to lose your temper? If you are like me and can find yourself a bit agitated by the little things, I hope this devotional encourages you to slow down and examine situations through the lens of Our Father's eyes.

It was early Monday morning. Need I say more? 

The lack of coffee, the incessant chattering of the only morning person in the house, and the high-pitched whining from the younger brother, who is most definitely not a morning person, made my head hurt. I swiftly packed the lunchboxes and snacks, brushed the toast crumbs off the counter, and wiped the peanut butter off my six-year-old's face. School mornings are a whirlwind of preparations, hugs, and rushing the kids who are slower than molasses out the door.

I often forget to check the school folders over the weekend, and this Monday morning was no exception. I reached into my older son’s backpack and unfolded a crumbled piece of paper. Realizing it was the signed excuse that he claimed to have given the teacher last week, I quickly snapped out of my early morning stupor. I lost it. I delivered a stern lecture with an angry tone, watching as tears welled up in his eyes. Immediately, I felt guilty for my harsh reaction, but I kept grumbling and complaining as I finished emptying his backpack.

I hadn’t been awake for even an hour and had lost my temper.  Not only did I set the wrong tone for the day, but I also set a bad example for my child. I let bitterness and anger override understanding and forgiveness. I did a horrible job of disciplining my child with firm, yet loving correction, instruction, and appropriate consequences (Ephesians 6:4).

But God always knows how to rein in my Southern Momma attitude. He gives me ample opportunity to practice the patience I always pray for and to be a good mother, just as I also pray to be. While still muttering complaints, I pulled out a white envelope with a golden seal. Normally, I set birthday invites aside until later in the day when I have time to RSVP, but I was in fit-throwing mode, trying to get everything done. I broke the seal, lifted the flap, and “poof!” Confetti and glitter popped in my face and rained down all over my counter and floor.

I just froze. My husband and son watched with wide-open eyes, unsure of how to react in front of the Godzilla I had morphed into that morning. That’s when I began to laugh hysterically. A stomach-hurting, tears-rolling kind of laughter filled the kitchen. God redeemed the tone I had set for the day.

I’m sure you can relate to this story in some kind of way. Maybe not the same confetti-popping ending, but we have all woken up on the wrong side of the bed. We have all started our mornings feeling cranky and pessimistic.

We Learn How to Let Go of Anger by Abiding in the Word

Undeniably, there are situations in life that warrant justified anger, but we must not let anger control us. Offenses, especially those of a child, must be examined through the lens of our Father’s eyes. When we do let anger dictate our response and actions, we must learn from our mistakes, seek forgiveness, and pray for patience and self-control. Keeping anger and bitterness in our hearts only gives the devil a foothold in our lives (Ephesians 4:27).

I am certainly not an expert on how to let go of anger, but I can lean on the teachings throughout Scripture, especially in Proverbs, to cultivate patience and calm. We can proactively choose peace over anger, setting a positive tone for the day. And if today didn’t start out well, there is always tomorrow. His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Questions for Reflection

1. Do you spend quiet time with just a cup of coffee and the Lord at the start of the day? My day certainly starts out better when I ask God for patience before the day begins.

2. When you lose your temper with a loved one, do you apologize? I feel like it sets a good example for my children when I sincerely apologize for my tone when I could have taken a better approach. This shows them I'm human.

Let's Pray

Dear Father, thank you for being an ever-loving, ever-patient parent. Help me to be slow to anger as you are. Teach me to have self-control over my words and actions. Convict me when my temper flares and help me to surrender my anger. When I do lose my temper, may I be quick to repent of my sin. Let my loved ones have mercy on me by kindly accepting my apology. And let me be gracious to others who respond to me in anger. Help me release the things that trigger unjustified anger. Make me a new creation, Lord. In Your Mighty Name, I pray. Amen.     

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Originally published on iBelieve