Sometimes It's Worth It
Years of my young adulthood were wasted “giving up” on friendship, and I just need to say something- Please don't give away this gift. Just as life is fleeting, and at times, so bitter-sweet, so is the gift of friendship.
At a pivotal point in my life, I truly thought I'd found my true friends. When things turned, they turned quickly, and I wasn't able to heal for considerable amount of time. After all, I didn't see it coming...and I always see it coming.
Sometimes friendships don't last, and that just a fact. It doesn't mean that you are less of a person. Having and being a good friend is hard, and so many times things turn out differently than our plan. Isn't that just life for you?
Things fall apart, and you're not even sure what happened. Sometimes you try to pick up the pieces after misplaced emotion, poor communication, lack-thereof, but it's beyond repair. Your heart yearns to fix it, but there's nothing left to salvage. And it hurts.
People say hurtful things sometimes, and maybe it's you... You're the one with the hurtful words. You're the one that did something, had the wrong attitude, and you're the one that owes an apology. But things are just not the same. You can't go back and erase it.
Forgive. Pray for your friends to forgive you.
“One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend.” Proverbs 17:9
Sometimes you just grow up, and grow apart. It's hard to pinpoint the change, but it happens slowly. Then one day, you wonder how you were ever friends at all. You wish you could stay, and that things could return to the way they once were, but it's time to go. This journey has ended... but another adventure awaits.
Sometimes you're tired of initiating. You're tired of planning to get together, texting first, whatever, only to be blown off again. You just can't do everything anymore, and even though that seems selfish, maybe it's time. The two-way street changed to one-way, and it hurts.
Find comfort in knowing that God knew this feeling of betrayal and disappointment from his friends.
Sometimes there's baggage. Let's be real, MOST times there's baggage. It's heavy, and a friend unknowingly helps you work through some of your worst moments in the most vulnerable of conversations. The baggage is not as heavy anymore, and working through things this way is cheaper than a counselor.
Or maybe the baggage is too heavy for either of you to bear, and that's okay, too. A true connection should happen organically.
Sometimes friendship catches you off guard. These are my favorite. An unexpected match brings you to your knees, thanking God for his timing... you didn't even know that you needed this person in your life. Who would've thought.
Friends bring camaraderie. Some have had similar struggles, and they show us what it looks like to rise above the ashes, and convince us that we can do it, too.
“Encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing.” 1Thessalonians 5:11
The lifelong friends, there's no comparison. The tides change, contexts, too, and the connection is just as strong. Months...years go by, and you pick up right where you left off. Careers, husbands, babies, life-altering events, and that friend is just home. No questions, just love and comfort.
“A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” Proverbs 27:9
We have to begin again. We have to open our hearts, and yes, you're vulnerable. Maybe you'll be disappointed, and there's no guarantee that this one will last forever... but maybe it'll feel like home.
God wants us to live life with one another. Friendship is a treasure and a risk, and sometimes, it's worth it.