It's More Than I Had
What started as a typical commute to work on a typical day, ended with five words that were so much more than typical. Pulling to a stop, a homeless man with a sign reading, Vietnam Vet – Anything will help, walked past my car. Rolling down my window with a meager two dollars in hand, I faintly said “It’s not much.” As his hand brushed mine, he replied “It’s more than I had.”
Those five simple words rung profoundly in my ears. What if we looked through the eyes of someone who has nothing? What if we say that no matter how small our offerings, our talent, our knowledge may be; it is more than we once had? What if we look at meager beginnings as a step up a monumental mountain, no matter how minute that step may be?
That monumental mountain may seem unfathomable at times, but if we take it one step at a time the burn from the slope is tolerable. Switchbacks are trails that have been cut in a zig-zag pattern to reduce the intensity of a mountain slope for hikers. At each switchback, stop to catch your breath. Instead of looking ahead to see how much further you have to walk to reach the summit, take a deep breath and focus on how far you have climbed and then look forward to the next switchback.
A week later after giving away what cash I had on hand – that meager two dollars – I focused on those five words as I contemplated my calling.
“It’s more than I had,” I thought to myself.
As my hands rested on the steering wheel in that half full parking lot with light pouring in from the East, I dropped my head wrestling with those words.
“It’s not much,” I exhaled.
“But it’s more than you had,” He replied.
With the internal battle in my mind churning I whispered “Are you sure this is the path you want me to take?”
“You know the answer,” He calmly said.
“I’ve barely began to read and study your Word. Let alone fully understand what I have read so far.”
“But it is more than you had,” He reassured.
Crying out, “I still have so much to learn.”
“But you know more than you did.”
In an exasperated plea I cried out again, “I’m not sure I could even point to Jerusalem on the map right now.”
“But can you point to me?”
Tilting my head back slightly, white knuckles gripping the steering wheel – I stared upward for a few seconds. Closing my eyes, my right hand instinctively moved over my heart, inhaling deeply and slowly breathing out as tears puddled in the bottom of my eyes.
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Are you wrestling with what's next? Are you contemplating what is your purpose, your calling, your meaning? He has already mapped it out for you. You just need to ask for directions and then start your engine. Simply ask God for the next step. You might be surprised how quickly and sometimes how obvious the answer may be.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3: 5-6